How To Step Into Your Right To Take Up Space | 6 Tips Everyone Should Know
Have you noticed that you’ve developed a habit of shrinking yourself and refusing to take up space when it comes to speaking up or being seen? This isn’t uncommon, especially among Millennials and Gen Z.
More likely than not, you’ve probably seen the phrase “take up space” plastered over social media over the last several years- especially if you occupy spaces that are predominately womxn, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, etc. Of course, this saying and sentiment is great, but how do you actually embody that version of yourself that seems to have it all? After getting past the uncomfortable emotions what do you actually do?
Contrary to popular beliefs, this isn’t a phenomenon solely reserved for introverts, but for extroverts as well.
This post is all about how to take up space (even when you don’t feel like you can).
What does it mean to take up space?
Generally speaking, taking up space means that you are unabashedly your authentic self in all spaces. You courageously walk into rooms and know to your core that you are right where you are supposed to be without question. When people are afraid to be seen and take up space, they often subconsciously shrink their own presence and can even be notorious people pleasers.
On the flip side, those who confidently take up space speak up confidently in group settings or online. They claim space for yourself and your message. Taking up space means that you don’t overanalyze what’s normal as “too much” and have surpassed your need for validation from others.
How To Take Up Space in 6 Steps
Overcome Your Imposter Syndrome & Uncover underlying feelings of unworthiness
If you had to present in a court of law all the reasons why you were not worthy of being in the space you occupy, what would you present?
Give yourself permission to be brutally honest here.
You’ll be surprised what your subconscious brings to the surface. Maybe a memory from preschool or elementary school. Either way, don’t dismiss it! No matter what you just thought of as evidence, these are lies that you may have accepted as a testament to your own worthiness. It’s an accumulation of false evidence that over the course of years, we’ve somehow accepted as truth. Thus from this “truth”, you’ve unknowingly constructed a prison of your own making.
Unworthiness is a hell of a drug, and it’ll have you playing small for years until you look it right in the eye and demand its exit. Of course, this isn’t something that happens overnight, but through therapy or other healing methods, you’ll find the discouraging voice in your head getting smaller as your confidence takes its place.
A huge part of this paragraph was inspired by the Big Conversations Podcast by Haley Hoffman Smith. I suggest you take a listen!
Take up space both physically and verbally
Do you find yourself hunching over, looking at the floor as you walk, and being as small as possible? Or do you find yourself being a serial apologizer or barely speaking up at all? Maybe both of these statements resonate with you. Either way, you subconsciously make yourself smaller because of your fear to take up space will manifest itself both physically and verbally.
Fight this by refusing to soften your language with words like “sorry” and “just” that only minimize your statements. Take up space by removing these words from your vocabulary when it’s not necessary.
Have your body language reflect your confidence as well. If you stand up straight, look others in the eyes, and give firm handshakes, you’ll feel almost an immediate shift that might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time will be second nature.
Never Be the first one to tell yourself no
There’s no point in playing any game or embarking on any endeavor if you’re going to be the very first person to count yourself out. If you’re not your own biggest advocate, it will be incredibly difficult to take up space because you don’t believe you deserve it in the first place.
When you go for a new job or want to provide input in a company meeting, don’t discount yourself. 9 times out of 10 you are more qualified or way more competent than you believe! Give that version of you space to thrive. When this inner critic inevitably makes an appearance, combat it using affirmations (see below).
Evaluate your environment
This might be a tough one because not everyone has the resources to move or change their environment, but it’s definitely something to consider. The main component of being able to believe in yourself is surrounding yourself with people that reinforce your own sense of worthiness and validate you. If the people around you were to constantly affirm you and allow you to take up space, it’s likely that that would flow over into other environments. The converse is also true.
Main takeaway: Be around people who empower you and this confidence will carry over!
Commit to doing things that scare you
Like all things, being so confident in your ability to take up space to the point where you operate at this level naturally is a muscle that needs to be built. By comparison, some of the other things that were hard for you won’t seem as uncomfortable as whatever scary situations you put yourself in first. Consistency and discipline are crucial to its fulfillment!
Affirmations
At the end of the day, all these changes start internally. As within, so without.
An uncomplicated way to affirm yourself consistently is to get a sticky note full of your favorite affirmations and place it on your bathroom mirror for you to recite out loud every morning as soon as you wake up. You might feel silly at first, but the more you preach something, the more you believe it. And one day, these statements will be unshakeable truths to you and you’ll be shocked that you could’ve believed anything else!
What bad thing happens if you allow yourself to shine in all your authentic glory and colors? Most of the time, I find that people repel this because of what others might think. But looking for validation from a place outside of yourself puts you on the path of true self-destruction.
Simone
Needed to hear this today!! Thanks so much for the post 🙂